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“Tom the Troll’s Panini” by Astrid Tuttle Winegar
Well, you can imagine that running into three trolls would be a terrifying encounter, but with the help of Gandalf’s cleverness, the trolls are vanquished mainly by their own argumentative behavior. Now rescued from the stewpot, our intrepid adventurers discover a cave in which the trolls had stored bread, cheese, ale, and bacon. It’s a good thing too, for Bilbo and his dwarf companions are starving for breakfast. Tolkien is not specific as to what kind of bread or cheese, so I am taking some latitude here—I believe these sandwiches would probably satisfy most trolls, at least as an amuse-bouche…
“Tom the Troll’s Panini”
2 tablespoons small capers, drained well
1 tablespoon good-quality mayonnaise
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons prepared horseradish
4 slices sourdough or multi-grain bread, about 4″ by 5″, ½” thick
7-8 ounces Brie, Camembert, or Limburger cheese, cut into ¼” slices (use the rind as well)
A large red onion, cut into ¼” slices—cut these from the center
6 slices good-quality bacon, cooked until crispy (the precooked variety is fine)
3-4 tablespoons soft salted butter, or spreadable margarine
Combine the first four ingredients in a small bowl and set aside. Lay one slice of bread on a cutting board and layer it with half the cheese, two slices of onion, and three strips of bacon. Spread half of the mustard mixture on another slice of bread and place this side down on top of the bacon. Press down all over the sandwich. Spread the top with about a tablespoon of butter. Repeat with the remaining ingredients. Heat a griddle to medium-hot. *** Carefully place each sandwich on hot griddle, butter side down, and press down all over with your hands or a spatula. Now butter the tops of each. When golden brown (2-3 minutes should do), carefully flip each over. Press down all over again and fry the other side until it is golden brown, another 2-3 minutes. Cut in half and serve. Serves 2-4.
*** You can certainly use a sandwich press if you like (hence my term, Panini), but a common griddle will cook both at once and a press might only accommodate one at a time. I stress the word carefully above, since this is loaded with stuff and you don’t want it all to fall out.
The trolls seem to have some rather bad-natured competition and grouchiness going on between themselves; Tolkien describes it as “a gorgeous row.” Bill would want his sandwich to be even more smelly than his companion’s sandwich, of course.
“Bill the Troll’s Stinkier Panini”
For this one, everything is the same with these exceptions:
-Use any kind of rye or pumpernickel for the bread, about 4″ by 5″, ½” thick
For the cheese, use:
-2 ounces any sort of Bleu cheese—such as Gorgonzola (rather mild), Stilton, Bleu, or
Roquefort (rather strong)—it just depends on your taste—crumbled
-3 ounces light cream cheese (Neufchâtel), softened
Mash the two cheeses together and spread equally on two slices of bread. Proceed with the directions in the preceding recipe. If you use pumpernickel, you will have to pay close attention to it, since it’s already dark brown; you’ll want it toasted but not burned. Serves 2-4.
The first sandwich is known as Pig and Curd on Bread in my cookbook. The second is affectionately known as Want Stinkier Sandwich. YUM (bellows the Troll…).
Astrid Tuttle Winegar
Astrid Tuttle Winegar is the author of Cooking for Halflings and Monsters: 111 Comfy, Cozy Recipes for Fantasy-Loving Souls, which is currently available in e-book form on the Amazon Kindle, but will soon be released by Oloris Publishing! Stay tuned for details. Astrid has loved C.S. Lewis since childhood, J.R.R. Tolkien since middle and high school, all Star things, both Trek and Wars, all things Whedon, and many other things besides… She lives in the enchanted city of Albuquerque, New Mexico, with her husband and dog. Her blog can be found at . You can check out (and like!) her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/halflingsandmonsters or visit her Twitter feed at http://twitter.com/astridwinegar.
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