Halloween Cooking with Tolkien: Zeldóshâkh’s Gnarly Bones

Zeldóshâkh’s Gnarly Bones by Astrid Tuttle Winegar

I was asked me to submit something special for Halloween, “perhaps something Sauron-themed and scary?” But I told him that there are…

So, I figured I could send over these slightly spicy pastries, perfect to accompany soups or stews. Now I know these aren’t exactly real bones ripped right out of some elf or man, dripping with gore and other viscera, but sometimes an orc needs some comforting bread products, don’t you think?

Zeldóshâkh’s Gnarly Bones

 
17.3 ounce package frozen puff pastry sheets, thawed according to package directions
2 ounces Parmesan or Romano cheese, finely shredded
2 ounces Gruyere cheese, finely shredded (Swiss or Jarlsberg are also fine)
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
½ teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons salted butter, melted
All-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 400°. Coat 2 large baking sheets with cooking spray or grease lightly. Combine the 2 cheeses in a medium bowl. Combine the seasonings in a tiny bowl. Unfold one pastry sheet and place on counter, with the creases running vertically. Brush ¼ of butter in the middle section, sprinkle with ¼ of the pepper mixture, then sprinkle with ¼ of the cheese mixture. Press into pastry. Fold the right side over the cheese then repeat the layering on top of this section. Fold the left side over this and press together, especially at the edges.

Flip pastry over and rotate, so it now faces you horizontally. Place on a lightly floured surface. Roll the pastry out to a rectangle that is about 16″ wide and 7″ deep. Using a pizza slicer, cut once in the center vertically, then cut horizontally into 6 strips at approximately 1″ intervals. Hold the ends of each and twist a few times, then place 1″ apart on prepared sheet. Press the ends onto the sheet. Repeat with the other pastry sheet. Bake at 400° for 15-17 minutes. Let stand on pans for 5 minutes before serving. Cover and store at room temperature. Makes 24.

In my cookbook, these go by the more polite nickname of Spicy Breadsticks.

Astrid Tuttle Winegar

Astrid Tuttle Winegar is the author of Cooking for Halflings and Monsters: 111 Comfy, Cozy Recipes for Fantasy-Loving Souls, which is currently available in e-book form on the Amazon Kindle, but will soon be released by Oloris Publishing! Stay tuned for details. For now, she is mostly telling a culinary Middle-earth story here on Legendarium. Astrid has loved C. S. Lewis since childhood, J. R. R. Tolkien since middle and high school, all Star things, both Trek and Wars, all things Whedon, and many other things besides… She lives in the enchanted city of Albuquerque, New Mexico, with her husband and dog. She blogs occasionally at . You can check out (and like!) her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/halflingsandmonsters or visit her Twitter feed at https://twitter.com/astridwinegar. Staff Reporter.